Flirty & Feisty Romance Blog...spice up your relationships: Cheating Lover

Showing posts with label Cheating Lover. Show all posts

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

40 Signs a Husband or Wife is Cheating? #Marriage #Infidelity

Welcome to Advice Bench

Last week, I was part of another author's Facebook Release Party.

During Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels Contest/Giveaway slot, I asked;

What are the signs a husband or wife is cheating?

I was amazed at the frenetic responses from participants. The answers came in fast & furious. There were at least 60 responses.

So I decided to publish it as a blog post for anyone who wants to be well-informed, and on the look out before their relationship slips out of the door.

1. Working late every night. New co-worker who needs help a lot.

2. No sex at home. Too tired for sex. Can't get it up.

3. Stops laughing so much at home

4. Locking the cell phone

5. Stops acting like the partner you know

6. Ignoring calls when the wife is at home

7. Starts going out of town

8. More guys nights than you know nothing about

9. Constantly accuses YOU of cheating

10. More girls night out than you know about

11. Changes shower habits...showers as soon as they get home instead of before bed

12. She starts wearing make up and dressing up for work. In the past, she did not bother.

13. Starts wearing cologne

14. Can't make time for you.

15. Starts talking about needing their own time

16. Gets headaches all the time

17. Doesn't want you touching him or her

18. Lipstick stains on shirt or blazer

19. Slipping out at night when the other is asleep

20. No longer wants to go places together

21. Asleep when you get to bed

Photo is courtesy of Michiganheadandneck

22. Starts dressing better

23. No time for you and the family. Always have work to do

24. Gets mad at small stuff. Starts fights just to leave

25. Hangs up quickly if you see he is on the phone.

26. Missing money

27. Stops listening to you

28. Changes ring tone so yours does not stand out anymore

29. Starts liking completely different things they never cared about before

30. Stops doing stuff for you, like bringing home dinner or those little I love you notes

31. Too busy to answer your calls

32. Always works overtime but their pay never changes when you check the account

33. Stop calling you sweet names

34. Phone getting disconnected when you answer

35. Shirt smelling of perfume

36. Becoming secretive, hiding stuff

37. Hotel receipts in bags or trouser/pants pockets

38. Unexplained charges on credit cards

39. Suddenly hiding body from you when they used to have no problem being naked in front of you

40. Won't look you in the eye

The fact is you need many of these combinations for you to become suspicious. One of these signs does not equate with infidelity.

Take this list as a wake up call. Relationships need time and effort to keep going. So do not take yours for granted.

Flirty & Feisty Romance wishes you a long lasting relationship.

******

Thank you for visiting and reading. Please leave me comments. Love to read your views.

You remain unforgettable.

Have a fabulous day.

Love

Stella

Flirty & Feisty Romance

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Wednesday, 13 May 2015

#Wives: When #Anger Hurts Your #Marriage

Welcome to Advice Bench!

I watched a TV programme recently in which a married woman yelled, insulted and kicked her husband out of their home because she heard he cheated on her. She was still nursing a one year old baby.

Later on, this woman started therapy, and she learnt a few truths about herself.
She made the following admissions;

1. She was difficult to talk to.
2. She didn't like to hear the truth.
3. She had anger management problems.
4. She agreed her marriage had problems for sometime, but she just pushed the issues aside. 5. She acknowledged she had being subtly rejecting her husband's flirtatious advances.

After I watched the show, I connected the story with reality. There are marriages where the women run their foul mouth to overwhelming proportions, the men are no where to be found. I'm not saying the women's anger were the only problems. But it was a BIG part of the problem.

So today, I want to share my views with you on how a woman's anger can hurt her marriage.

You walk outside your marriage vows when you scream and rant at the man you vowed to honour and cherish.

Many women are hurting their marriages with bouts of uncontrollable temper tantrums.

Yes, you are hurt, angry and frustrated. In so many instances, you have every right to be. For example, you just found out your husband is having an affair, or he has taken another loan without your knowledge, or he is too busy to care about you or the children and so on.

Then you decide to take the following actions;
1. To make him feel some of the pain and hurt you feel, you lash out at him.

2. You yell and strip him of every ounce of dignity. Men have huge ego. When you trample on his pride, get ready to live with his evil side.

3. You insult him, irrespective of who is listening; your kids, family members, neighbours or friends.

4. If you live abroad, you go as far as kicking him out of the house for a day, two or years. In Africa, you don't have the luxury of evicting your husband. You will have your husband, his family and the African society to answer to.

I ask

Wow! Tell me, in all the instances where you have let out your anger so viciously, how did it all end? Did you achieve your goal? I guess that depends on what your goal was in the first place.

When did anyone ever achieve a brilliant result from yelling at their husbands?

Even if you win your husband back in a make up sex, you have cracked a few eggs that you can never find whole again.

What are the effects?

1. In your anger, you would have said so many hurtful words that have a lasting damage on your husband's psyche even after you make up.

2. The children are emotionally distraught with dad and mum's scary yelling.

3. When this behaviour becomes a pattern, one day, your husband is going to take a walk and not look back. And you are going to be left wondering how your marriage went berserk.

Why you need not yell

1. No matter what your husband's offense is, you can control your rage. There are times when silence is a more deadly weapon to achieve your aim.

Remember - Two wrongs don't make a right.

2. It takes two to fight.

3. If you open your mouth to insult your husband, you are unwise. In other words, among fools, you are the leader of the pack!

So if your aim is to be a single mum, don't waste your time reading further. Come on, read on.

What you can do differently

1. It is time to calm down when you want to yell at your husband. He is not your child, even if you think he acts like one.

2. Take a walk to clear your head.

3. Think through what you want to say. Ask yourself, what do I want to achieve? If you want your husband to quit being a mess, you need a wise approach. Yelling is not going to achieve anything good.

4. You need to learn to talk to him like the matured woman you are, and not fly off the handle at the drop of a hat.

5. You might even decide not to talk when you are so angry. Let him stew in his guilt. Talk when he is not prepared to go on the defensive. I use this tip and it works for me. *wink*

Quit shrieking, and start talking with a clear head.