The teenage years are often the most turbulent for parents. Teenage pregnancy, weed smoking, drug use, knife use, alcohol fuelled parties, bullying and gansterism is rife among teenagers.
All hope isn't lost. As parents, we have primary responsibility in preparing our children for life's many challenges.
WHAT PARENTS DO WRONG
You Can Over-function:
You do everything for your child, from making their beds, to washing their dishes and clothes and then expect the clueless child to grow up taking responsibility and contributing positively. They blame the pampered child for being lazy!
You Under-function:
You expect too much from a child you haven't trained. You frustrate them and make them feel incompetent.
WHAT PARENTS CAN DO RIGHT
Be A Role Model
I bought a bread maker a few weeks before Christmas 2013. I learnt to bake homemade bread. And I taught my eleven year old son and my thirteen year old daughter. They now bake bread unsupervised. We haven't bought a loaf of bread since I got the bread maker.
If you don't know how to...learn together. Children are great teachers!
Be the example you expect. If you're dependent on alcohol, get clean!!!
Deepen Bonds
Share Responsibility:
Teach your children to share the work load at home from a young age. Washing dishes, sweeping and cleaning the house, cooking and emptying the washing machine etc are chores your kids must do on a regular basis. Wake up! Your home isn't a passageway!
Develop Their Talent
Mete Out Discipline:
If you think bringing up children is as easy as easing bread and butter pudding, think again. From the beginning, set clear rules and boundaries. Rules must have consequences and rewards. You must be consistent in dishing out praises/gifts for good behaviour as well out meting out punishment for bad behaviour.
This is where modern day parenting falls abysmally short. Disciplining your child is as important as rewarding their good deeds. Be strong!
Last Word
When your job is done, your children will appreciate the tools you've provided them with to lead them in a lifetime of natural and spiritual success. When your children grow up, they'll not thank you for allowing them get away with wrong doing in their childhood.
Please share your experiences with us.
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8 comments:
My girls are grown, and I have grandchildren now, but my main advice is this: Be a parent first. You can't discipline and lead your child and try to be a buddy at the same time. Remember that God put you in charge, not your child. Show them love, kindness and compassion, but never forget to let them know that you are the authority.
As far as teens go, I think that's the time you really have to stand your ground (pardon the phrase). They need some freedom during this time of their lives, but they're going to test and try you to the limit. Let them do the things they enjoy as long as you know where they going and who they'll be with. Don't clamp down so hard that it forces them to rebel, But when they do, they should have to face the consequences. I'm old school, so I don't believe in knuckling under as a parent. A friend of mine had to go so far as to let her son sleep out on the front porch in the rain when he didn't some home on time. This wasn't the first time he'd broken curfew, so she pulled out the big guns. LOL! I don't think her son ever broke curfew again after that.
What a helpful list of practical guides you've listed to help us in our parenting journey. I know many parents who are struggling to contain their teenage children. Teenagers do test the limit.
Boundless thanks, Chicki for being so open and sharing these fantastic parenting tips. You're blessed.
Excellent post, Stella. Your suggestions are spot on and I do employ most of them with my three boys. I do agree with Chicki Brown's comments. We have to be firm as parents and let our yes be yes and no be no, especially these African children of ours who are trying to ape western values. I have good bonding times with the boys but I don't hesitate to use the rod when it is necessary.
I must add too that prayer also help, a lot!
Valuable comments, Celestine. You're so on the money. We have great African values to pass on to our children. I agree you can't leave out tough sanctions when raising children.
How could I have left out the first rule...PRAYER! Thank you so much for contributing.
Such great advice. I'm always striving to find the balance in it all in the way we structure our day to day lives.
~Melissa
Thank you so much, Melissa for coming over and adding your voice to our chat.
Raising children must count as the most difficult task on earth but there's no formal training on how to be a successful parent. Finding the right balance is what we all struggle with on a daily basis. But with God all things are possible.
May God help us be the best parents we can be. I wish you all the best.
Great post, Stella. Raising good children gets trickier every day and parents need to keep on the ball.
Bringing up children is a tough job. Hopefully, as we exchange notes and encourage each other, we help build and strengthen families.
So great to have you share your comment. I appreciate you dropping in, Kiru. Thank you very much. I wish the very best.
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