Welcome to Advice Bench!
If you are married, can you honestly answer this simple question: Did you attend Marriage Counselling classes with your husband or wife before you tied the knot?
Well, my husband and I, along with other couples attended twelve weeks (once a week) session of marriage classes in our Church before we got married nearly seventeen years ago. The sessions were compulsory and it was led by women who had been married for over thirty years.
During the Counselling Sessions, the women shared their experiences about the problems they encountered in their marriages. I remember one vivid example. The woman told us that when she was pregnant, she craved river water and ate meals served in a clay pot!!! So her husband had to go to the river side to fetch water for her to drink to satisfy her craving.
So after we got married, and I was pregnant for my first child, I craved fried plantain (Dodo). Even today, my husband recounted how I often insisted he went out at night to go and buy me plantain. And I don't even remember having any cravings. Loool! He put up with it because he had heard worse stories.
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| Fried Plantain (Dodo) |
My Opinion
Yesterday, it suddenly dawned on me that many people walk into marriages these days with their eyes SHUT and hope for the best! How scary! No wonder divorce and separation rates are on the rise.
In my opinion many couples don't even attend Counselling Sessions of any kind before taking a leap into the most important part of their lives.
My Question is:
How can anyone commit their entire adult life to a man or woman who is spiritually and emotionally unprepared to handle the pressure, stress and challenges to come? It is foolhardy.
You do the children a great injustice if you start out in marriage without adequate awareness for your lifetime project.
Marriage is an unending project.
Have you seen Mesut Ozil play football for Arsenal Football Club? He is skilful! It comes with long hours of training. Have you seen an Olympian who wins a gold medal without hard and long hours spent in training?
So how can you walk to the altar, promise to do everything right without committing at least twelve weeks learning the art of rising and falling on the marriage street? Three months to learn the rigours of the most important event of your life.
Parents, don't give away your daughters or sons in marriage without counselling them.
Men and women, don't marry without attending counselling sessions with people who have decades of experience.
My Tips:
1. If you are about to get married, WAIT!
2. Find and attend Marriage Counselling Sessions with your fiancé or fiancée before you walk down the aisle. Both of you will find the sessions useful in the years ahead.
Many stories you will hear will prepare you psychologically for the new life you are about to step into.
My husband and I still recall all we were told during our sessions and we often thank God for our sweet marriage. We call ours SWEET because we know many couples who have gone through WORSE.
Think about these things.
All images are from Google.co.uk
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You remain unforgettable,
Love
Stella
Flirty & Feisty Romance
Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.
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