Flirty & Feisty Romance Blog...spice up your relationships: Emotional Therapy

Showing posts with label Emotional Therapy. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 February 2020

#Wedding ~ Why Do You Need A #Prenup?

Welcome to Advice Corner!

Wedding ~ Do You Need A Prenup Agreement?

Hello,

Tighten your seat belt because it's another emotional therapy time on Advice Corner.

Last week, I heard an engaged couple arguing about getting a prenup agreement prior to their wedding.

The groom-to-be is an entrepreneur with assets and a sizable bank account and the bride-to-be is out of work and has no money. But she sacrificed a lot by leaving her family & friends to move across continents to be with him. So, the guy wanted his bride-to-be to sign a prenup. She was upset, furious and rightly so in my opinion.

For those who don't know, a prenup is a marital agreement that states what will happen in case a couple gets divorced.

To me, getting a prenuptial agreement before you get married is the craziest thing ever!

Are you out of your mind?

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. If you cannot trust your fiancé/fiancée to stay with you forever, or if you think your partner can ruin your finances in the future, then end your engagement now!

For engaged couples who feel the need to get this document signed in case they get divorced in the future, I say have a rethink.

Whether or not you agree, Prenup casts a dark cloud around your marriage.

In my opinion, a prenup contract is a double-edged sword that will eventually hurt your marriage. Most likely, you will get divorced because you wished for it by signing the prenup agreement before your wedding even began.

Listen! On your wedding day, you vow to love each other till your lives end. You exchange wedding rings as a symbol of a love that knows no end.

Then, how can you also sign a document that states that in case your marriage fails, you will leave with your own wealth????

That's crazy! I don't care how rich one of you is, if you feel the need to sign a prenup:

Let me tell you what it implies;

1. You do not TRUST your partner.

2. You are not ready to SHARE all your worldly goods with your life partner.

3. Material things are of great concern to you more than the need to take a leap of FAITH with the person you say you want to spend the rest of your life with.

4. You have serious doubts about your ability to stay and battle through tough times ahead.

5. You are a fair-weather spouse and therefore unreliable.

6. The LOVE you have for your spouse is not DEEP enough and it is questionable.

7. The prenup is your get-away card from your marriage.
The moment you sign the agreement, your brain, already wired for escape, caves in when tough times pop up because you know you will walk away with your wealth intact. Before long, you are walking into marriage number three or four.

8. Lastly, it indicates, you see an end date for your marriage.

Honestly, if you still have the urge to get a prenup agreement before your wedding day, you should NOT get married.

Flip the coin for a minute. If your partner is richer and wants you to sign a prenup, how will you feel?

Finally, remember you cannot say the words, 'I do' with an expiration date for your marriage in mind.

Try my emotional therapy tips on my Advice Corner and you will see deeper bonds form between you and your wife/husband through God's grace.

I hope you connect emotionally with your husband or wife so you can experience a more fulfilling and loving bliss in your marriage.

Pictures are courtesy of Google.com & Interracial marriage on Google

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GET UNDRESSED ~ A STEAMY NOVELLA

Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku

Release Date: 28th January 2020

Genre: Contemporary Romance/Interracial/BWWM

Pages: 160 (Paperback)

Word Count: 34K

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A Flirty & Feisty Romance Novel ~

A speed-dating event involves 2 strangers from 2 different continents. They’ve got six short weeks to make the biggest decision of their lives!

To date.

Get undressed &

Get engaged.

Break up.

And go their separate ways. There is no second chance.

Nigerian nurse, Ola Gowon has no man who whispers sweet nothing in her ears at night or one who loves her for herself. Hopeful about the future, she shows up at the speed-dating event in Canada to find out her blind date has the exact attributes she stated she did not want in the guy of her dreams. What will it take for her to find the man who will rock her world?

After losing hope of ever finding the woman of his dreams, heroic fireman, Liam Thomas shows up at the speed-dating event to find there has been a mix up. How else can someone explain why the woman standing in front of him as his blind date is the exact opposite of what he said he needed?

But when they start dating, differences erupt, jealousy rears its head and their hearts are stirred in ways they did not imagine.

Will Liam and Ola choose each other to save their needy hearts?

~ From the Author of Christmas Desire ~

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You are deeply appreciated.

I wish you a romantic week.

Love

Stella

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Tuesday, 8 October 2019

How to #Connect with your #Husband or #Wife - #EmotionalTherapy

Welcome to Advice Corner!

Hello,

It's time for some emotional therapy on Advice Corner.

Whether you have experienced it or not, marriage is a safe place where you can reveal your weaknesses, fears, shame without being condemned or your secrets exposed to others.

I have been married for almost twenty years, thank the Lord. If there is one thing that helps me connect with my husband emotionally, it is sharing and oversharing how we feel about anything and everything.

As unbelievable as it sounds, many married couples find it tough, scary and almost impossible to connect deeply.

Maybe it's because they don't know how to be emotionally vulnerable with each other.

That's why I'm writing this post.

However, I'm hoping you married a matured man or woman.

To connect on a deep level with your husband or wife involves what I call, EMOTIONAL THERAPY and that means doing the following:

1. Voice out your vulnerabilities in WORDS. Say it.

I know it's scary at first because you don't want to be mocked or judged harshly. Practice it until it becomes a habit.

a. Speaking in a low tone, find the words to say exactly how you feel about your relationship, anything your husband or wife has done that you are unhappy with and so on.

b. Talk honestly about the issues that have been handled 'wrongly' in your opinion.

c. If you are upset about your husband's female friends because they flirt with him, or your in-laws who overstep, or colleagues who intrude, say exactly how and why you feel threatened by their behaviour and attitudes or the things they have said.

2. Let your spouse into your dark places - your fears, the shame you carry around inside, your guilt, pain and so on.

3. Cry out your frustrations. If you are afraid about anything; finances, sex, children leaving home, whatever, cry about it. Men love to save the damsel in distress. Use this style.

4. Open up about your resentments.

5. Talk about every unhappy thing going on in your marriage.

6. With an open heart, listen to your husband or wife speak after you are done.

As a wife or husband, when your partner discloses their fears, their unhappiness, guilt or weaknesses, your role is to:

1. Listen. Stare into their eyes, so they know you are listening.

2. Put your arms around their shoulders and whisper words of encouragement in between.

3. Smile and show compassion with your eyes and words. If you don't, you will stop them from trying to connect with you in future.

4. Afterward, tell them how you feel about all they've said.

a. Speak tenderly as you lean forward.

b. Touch their hands, caress their cheeks or chin.

c. Ask how you can be more supportive.

d. Most importantly, tell them you LOVE them despite their brokenness and insecurities.

e. Show your wife or husband how much you love her or him. If you don't know how, click to read, 20 Ways to Express Love or 10 Ways to Show Love.

Try my emotional therapy tips and you will see deeper bonds form between you two.

AVOID the Following

1. It is not a time to mock your partner.

2. Don't speak in a condescending or judgmental way as if you're perfect.

3. Don't pull away as if you've been stung by a snake. The shame and guilt your partner carries inside will only make them feel worse.

4. Don't share your partners secrets with other people who might blabber about it, else trust is broken.

In marriage, you are to help each other heal, not break each other.

I hope you connect emotionally with your husband or wife so you can experience a more fulfilling, happy and loving bliss in your marriage.

Pictures are courtesy of Google.com

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