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Thursday, 16 March 2017

Do Your Teenagers Tell You What To Do? #Parenting #Teens

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If you have little or no control over your teenagers, all hope is not lost.

Given half the chance, teenagers want to play the role of parents when it suits them. At other times, they need you to pay the bills and be there when they need you as a parent.

If your teenagers at home think they know all about life and they want to boss you around, you are not alone. My teenagers want to 'control' when they do their chores and when to watch TV and when to do what I ask them to do.

First, they argue with you about everything - from your pronunciations, to what YOU wear, to doing house chores, cleaning their rooms, going to bed, doing their homework and everything else.

As parents, it is exhausting to monitor and supervise all that our teenagers do. But never be too tired or overwhelmed.

How many times have you asked the simple question, who is the parent and who is the child? Aha! My husband and I ask the same question all the time.

In our home, my husband and I phrase our caution differently. We tell our children: "You are children and we are your parents. So you do as you are told as long as you remain our children and leave us to be your parents. God made us your parents for a reason - to guide you and so it will remain."


Before we condemn all teenagers entirely, I want you to reflect on YOUR teen years. Were you rebellious? If you were a stubborn teenager, look in the mirror. Your children are simply following your footsteps.

Did you keep your room tidy as a teen?

I did, without being told. As long as I was under my parents roof, I was not a rebellious teenager.

But guess what? My husband was the opposite, he rebelled  as a teenager. So together, we have been blessed with children who are a blend of both of us. So what do we expect?

Teenagers take different traits and attitudes from both parents. When our teenagers get into heated argument with each other, they often settle quickly, but not without leaving my husband and I with slight headaches or racing hearts.

'Tidy your room' or 'do your chores' order is met with the following responses: 'I'm tired' or 'I'm just coming in', "Mum, not now", "Mum, don't come into my room'.

But then you see them stretched out on their beds with their eyes glued to their phones or tablets!

What do tired people do? In my world, if you are tired, you get a nap to rest your head. Nowadays, teenagers watch movies and play games on their gadgets when they are tired. Well, not in our house.


1. Take away their prized toy!

My sister and I have found the perfect way to get our teenagers to do exactly what we tell them to do.

We take away their tablets, PS 4 station, or phones or any other gadget that gives them the arrogance to think they can do what they like or tell us what to do.

2. Get them to do whatever needs doing!

Once I hide my children's Tablet, I get their 100% attention and they ask me: 'Mum? What did you want me to do?'

Ah!! So you haven't been listening, I say to myself. Now I have their attention, I get them to do the list of pending chores. Often, I'm amazed at the speed at which the chores get done, just so they can get back to their gadgets.

3. Stand your ground: Withhold their gadgets until all the chores are done!

Don't let your teenagers talk you into handing over the gadget before all the tasks are completed, or you lose their respect. The next time you pull the same stunt, they won't take you seriously.

4. Pick your battles!

Decide what they can get away with in your head and what you have to put your foot down about. Then be consistent on how you deal with the same problem so as not to confuse their thoughts. If you let them get away with not doing dishes today and you insist

If you have an opinion or answer, please share it. I'm desperate to find out what you think.


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