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Tuesday, 24 March 2015

The #Woman in #Marriage - The Forgiving Woman #MarriedWomen

Welcome to a new series titled, The Woman in Marriage!

I was recently invited to speak to a group of married women during their Mother's Day Symposium.

Based on their response, I have decided to share the presentation in a seven-series post.


Marriage is the bedrock of any society and God is the Author of Marriage. Jesus and his mother were in attendance at the wedding in Cana of Galilee where He turned water into wine. God is still at work in marriages today.

The marriage story begins when a man finds a wife, described as a good thing and he obtains favour from the Lord, Prov 18:22. The woman in marriage is chosen by her husband to be his constant companion, his friend, to be his loyal helper, the mother of his children, the keeper of his home and so much more.
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The journey for the woman in marriage begins with her marital vows. For example, almost sixteen years ago, I took the following vows; “I Stella, take you Augustine to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part.” I’m sure you took your marital vows too.

And so, the woman in marriage begins her journey with her husband and her God. She knows that a threefold cord is not easily broken. Eph 4:12. Along the way, other people join her on this journey of faith to the unknown. Her in-laws travel along, the Lord blesses her with children, and her family are part of the journey, so are her friends, enemies and the society. There is no end and no graduation until death.

On this Godly journey, she comes across many surprises – good and bad. The woman in marriage is equipped for what life throws at her, through God’s grace and guidance.

In the beginning, God gave Eve to Adam and asked them to till the Garden of Eden.

And so it is for you and for me. Once we get married, we are called by God to join our husbands to TILL THE MARRIAGE GARDEN.
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If you own a garden and you have ever planted seeds, you know that the seed dies first, and it faces many adversities such as rain, frost, snow, pests, birds and even human footsteps. But through these challenges, some seeds survive and grow into strong trees that provide rest places for the birds of the air and for humans, away from the heat of the sun. The fertile tree bears abundant fruits to feed countless people and animals. But other seeds fall aside because of the harsh conditions. And so it is for marriages.

So, is your marriage fruitful? Do people come to you when they have problems?

The woman in  marriage gets married because she believes that two are better than one because they have a better reward for their labour. Eph 4:9.

Throughout this series, I’m going to share with you 7 attributes of the woman in marriage.

1.      The Forgiving (Unforgiving) Woman

2.      The Praying (Un-requesting) Woman

3.      The Virtuous (Unrighteous) Woman

4.      The Wise (Unwise) Woman

5.      The Submissive (disobedient) Woman

6.      The Faithful (Unfaithful) Woman

7.      The Patient (Impatient) Woman

But today, I will discuss the forgiving and the unforgiving woman.

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1. (a) The Forgiving Woman

(i) What is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness means to pardon, to show mercy, to tolerate and to understand. It means you release feelings of resentment and vengeance.

The woman in marriage is full of forgiveness because she knows her enemies. The enemy is not your husband, in-laws or friends. Your enemies are the powers of darkness that we wrestle against (Eph 6:12) and our flesh that seek to please itself. Rom 8:8. The woman in marriage does not seek vengeance because she fears God and trusts the Lord when he says, vengeance is mine, I will repay. Rom 12:19.

(ii) Ask yourself when do I need to forgive?

·         You need to forgive when you are overcome by feelings of pain, anger, bitterness and resentment.

·         When your chest tightens at the sound of their voice.

·         When you cringe at their presence or voice.

·         Or when your flesh crawls when you are in contact.

When the woman in marriage experiences any of these signs, she runs to the altar of forgiveness.

(iii) Why do I need to forgive?

·         The Lord already paid the penalty for their sin even before the sin was committed.

·         You need to forgive others for your sins to be forgiven. Mt 6:12. Search yourself first! We are all humans and make mistakes. The woman in marriage knows that if she offends, she wants to be forgiven without drama or humiliation. So she willingly offers forgiveness.

·         You don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Eph 4:26.

(iv) What are the signs that I have forgiven the offender?

·         When you have set aside the anger and bitterness, as the east is far from the west.

·         And you never use the offense against the offender.

·         You never bring up the offense.

1. (b) The Forgiving Woman – Mary, Mother of Jesus

We have an example in Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ who watched her son been crucified by the Jews. On Pentecost day, those same Jews were converted just like she was too. Mary and the others became members of the Jerusalem Church (John 19: 25-27, Acts 1:14, Acts 2). My question to you is, what sin has your husband, children, in-laws, family committed that you can’t forgive?

The woman in marriage learns to forgive all hurt knowing that Christ has paid the price.

1. (c) The Unforgiving Woman – Zeresh, Haman’s wife - Esther 5 - 8

King Ahasuerus promoted Haman to be his second in command and the king commanded everyone to bow down to Haman. Mordecai was a Jew and a foreigner in Shushan, and he refused to bow down to Haman. As a result, Haman took offence, plotted to crush the Jews and reported the matter to his beloved wife, Zeresh and to his friends.
Listen to his wife’s response; “Let a gallows be made, fifty cubits high and in the morning, suggest to the king that Mordecai be hanged on it; then go merrily with the king to the banquet.” Est 5:14.

Her response pleased Haman. By her words, Zeresh blew up her husband’s fury. Eventually, it was her husband who got hanged in the same gallows. And she and her household were handed over to Queen Esther as subjects and Esther in turn, handed them over to Mordecai to oversee. Est 8.

Dear woman, if your husband is in a position of power, when he reports a matter to you concerning anybody, especially those of the household of faith, do not advise him to plot evil against others, so that you don’t bring destruction to you and your family.
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The series continues next week Tuesday with The Praying Woman. Thank you for visiting.

You can listen to the presentation by clicking; The Woman in Marriage Video.
If you missed any post in the seven series, click on the links below;

Series 1 - The Forgiving Woman 

Series 2 - The Praying Woman

Series 3 - The Virtuous Woman

Series 4 - The Wise Woman

series 5 - The Submissive Woman

Series - 6 The Faithful Woman

Series - 7 The Patient Woman

Please leave comments so I know you popped in.

Have a beautiful week with your loved one.

Flirty & Feisty Romance 

Our to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.



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