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I’m Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku, publisher of over 30 sizzling romance books. I’ve been married to my sexy hubby for 20yrs plus, we have two grown-ups and we live in London, UK. My passion is writing Interracial & Multicultural Romance Novels that feature sexy heroes with good hearts & independent, feisty heroines who jump out of the pages of my books. Their chemistry is hot! You will laugh, cry & drool with suspense until the end. If an emotionally intense happy-ever-after is what you want, start reading any of my books now.

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Saturday, 26 May 2012

Are You Married and Still Flirt? #Staymarried #Marriage

Welcome to Advice Bench!

Marriage is a life time commitment you make to your spouse. There's no other definition. Don't worry about modern trends where marriages seem to last for hours, days or months. There will always be exceptions to rules. The trend is not the standard.

Flirting by married people can create serious cracks & strain in any marriage. You may not recognise you flirt when you're at work, at a party or on the beach. But
your partner or friends may pull you aside to tell you to stop flirting. You insist you're innocent. If you carry on, it can lead to violence from a very jealous or enraged husband/wife. Celebrities have ended their marriages because of flirty text messages.

So that we're completely clear about how to recognise flirting signs, here are a number of flirty moves from men: 
1. They stare at you a lot & mainly straight in the eyes.

2. They tease or mock you to lighten your mood so you can smile.

3. They start a conversation with any idea that pops into their heads.

4. They find any excuse to brush past you to make physical contact.

5. They worry about you & the man is protective over you!

Wait! You're a married woman!!! The role of your husband is being taken over by a male friend or stranger. Be on your guard, but that's not to say that all men flirt.

It is easy to read a woman's flirting signs: 
1. She makes extended eye contact, wanting to catch the man's attention. 

2. She touches her face now & again and 

3. She plays with her hair.

4. For that extra bit of attention, she bursts into fits of well-planned laughter and she flashes a smile.

These are all feminine body language that is as old as time.

When a married woman engages in these playful activities, it's not only embarrassing, but it makes you wonder what her motives are and what little value
she has for the life time commitment she made to her husband. 

Wives, focus all your feminine flirty moves on your husband.

And Mr. Husband, learn to read the 'I need you' messages from your wife.

Remember that flirting is a blend of playful verbal communication & body language that have no serious intentions. I must also state that online flirting is common and it is as devastating as other forms of flirting. 

The most stupid form of flirting in my opinion is the texting of photos of nude body parts. How daft is that?

When caught, the price to pay is heavy, resulting in a quickie divorce & children torn between parents. Why devalue your marriage to the point where a strange woman or man brings hard core evidence of your infidelity & stupidity? Why make a ridicule of the family you swore to protect? God help you.

Usually, people who flirt do it for amusement. However, a woman may flirt to see if she's still attractive. If her husband makes her feel attractive all the time by complimenting her dress sense, cooking skills, hardwork, dedication & beauty, she'll not need to seek another man's opinion by flirting.

A single man will flirt with a goal of finding a life partner. A man will usually flirt for casual sex, especially married men. But the 'other' woman thinks that his exclusive attention means she'll be upgraded to Mrs. Wife status. When her dream of achieving a permanent feature status in the married man's life is slow in coming, she tells anyone who cares to hear of his infidelity & her hurt. She screams of his betrayal to her!

But he's married!!! If he betrayed you, what do you call what he did behind his wife's back? Get real! Bag yourself a worthy man. You deserve better than a lying, cheating & shameless adulterous man. If he cheated on his wife with you, what do you expect from him? Loyalty & fidelity?

Temptation is everywhere, there are beautiful, barely dressed women walking around every corner. These women are not walking adverts for married men, especially the rich & famous. You took a decision to marry, take the decision to make your marriage as hot & exciting as you want, make your marriage the envy of others and the standard for others. Teach your partner to have sex in as many ways as you both wish. If you love women in topless clothes, mini skirts, bare cleavage...then buy those clothes for your wife and motivate her to wear them.

Stop flirting around with other women who will ruin your life.

Wives, if you want your man to be charming, you turn on the charm, please him, tell him you want him to compliment you. Men...listen to your wives!!!

My husband & I often discuss the role of the media in the break up of celebrity marriages. We have divided opinion. My husband is positive that the media publishes sassy stories with the sole aim of pulling down marriages. My opinion is simple. if the celebs engage in infidelity in any form, they give the power to the media to expose them. The decision to stay married lies with the betrayed spouse. I salute Bill Clinton, Wayne Rooney & Peter Crouch's wives.

Flirting is selfish & attention seeking, pure & simple. If you're married, avoid flirting like a plague except if your spouse gives you express permission to engage in such frivolity. Even then, be careful because the person you're flirting with might take you seriously.

As a couple, learn to accept the things you can't change & be patient to change
 the things you can. You need wisdom to know the difference. Learn from other people's mistakes. Above all, invest time & effort to pray and to build your marriage. Who told you life is a walk in the park?

Happy days are ahead depending on your actions & inactions.

Thank you for stopping by. Please share your comments, so I know you stopped by. It gives me great pleasure to read your views.

You remain unforgettable,

Flirty & Feisty Romance 

Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.



Kiru Taye said...

Interesting post and sound advice, Stella.

Can I suggest that you break up the post into paragraphs so that it's easier to read.

Have a great weekend.

Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

Thank you, Kiru for reading & for your comments.

I did write in paragraphs but I guess because it's from my phone, it turned out like one big paragraph. I did enjoy writing this piece.

Unknown said...

This was a really objective and straight to the point piece. I really enjoyed it! Well done, Stella!

Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

Thanks Sifa. I'm satisfied you found the post objective. It's such a tricky subject.

Unknown said...

Hard truth. Some would take it in with a pinch of salt while others who have wisdom will take this golden piece of advice with two hands. Spilled milk is very difficult to gather why spill the milk....
Augustine Eromonsere Ajanaku

Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

Thank you, Sweetheart for stopping by. Love your comments, I love you even more.

Reading Pleasure said...

Great post, Stella. keep up the good work!

Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

Many thanks, Celestine. God help me.