Wednesday, 17 November 2010

YOUR MOTIVE FOR MARRIAGE?

One question my husband always asks when he listens to marriage break-ups is, 'What was their motive for marrying each other?' and 'Where did they meet?' Often, we discuss and keep coming back to the basics.
If you're married, I would be delighted to hear from you on WHY you married your wife or husband.
It would be interesting to extend this topic further to talk about right and wrong reasons for marriage. This sounds very fundamental to me. But from personal interactions with many couples, it's possible that many people didn't quite explore their motives for marriage. You may wonder why this is relevant. I'll tell you how relevant your motive for marriage is to the sustainability of your relationship longterm.

Only yesterday (16/11/10), Prince William and Kate Meddleton announced their engagement. It's being long awaited. The whole world is buzzing with excitement. My husband and I were excited just watching Kate constantly look up at her Prince each time she was asked a question during the photocall and formal interview. And, watching William tap her hands and look at her in that romantic and supportive way brought back memoeries for us. Why is that, you may ask. During their interview, my husband told my two kids (10 and 7yrs old) that Kate Meddleton reminds him of me. He told them that during our Church wedding ceremony (4/12/99) we weren't listening to the Preacher or anyone else as we stared constantly into each other's eyes. Our kids laughed so hard. And my son confirmed that, 'Mummy still looks at you in the same way. You two make a perfect couple!'
I've been married for almost eleven years and I still thrust my hand through the crook of my husband's elbow even if we're going down the road or going to pick our kids from school.
I wish Prince William and Kate Meddleton long lasting happiness in their marriage. It's obvious that they are in love. When Kate was asked what she likes about her Prince - she said he was very supportive, he takes care of her, he teaches her... And Prince William said she had a sense of humour he liked and that she was special...
This is very much unlike Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding back in 1981. I remember watching that fairytale wedding on live television in Nigeria. I was only 9yrs old. Even then, their marriage seemed like a fairytale, nothing like LOVE oozing from Prince Charles eyes or arms...

Now lets go back to the reasons I married my husband almost eleven years ago. He is down-to-earth, very sensitive (when he takes a look at me, he can easily tell if I'm happy or sad...) exceptionally affectionate, romantic, disciplined (not going off doing anything in excess) he speaks a baggage of wise words... I felt like I'd known him all my life. I'd spent only a couple of hours with him when he popped the question of, 'Will you marry me?' Apparently, my husband knew me and had been planning on asking me to marry him, but I had no clue who he was. My story is so surreal, it's unbelievable. But that's what happens when you've spent endless hours praying for God's choice for you.

When your motive for marriage is pure, virtuous, honest etc. your marriage stands a good chance of weathering the stormy times that are sure to come down the years. But when your motives are dishonest or vile such as for financial security, on the rebound, because you're growing old, you want kids, or you want someone you can control, etc. When those motives expire or you are found out, your marriage might just hit the rocks. True or False?

See my website to check out my inspirational, contemporary romance novels; http://www.flirtyandflirtyromancenovel.co.uk/

Next topic is; Where Did You Meet Your Partner?
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