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Hello Romance Lovers,
Fingers crossed and by God's grace, I will complete writing and editing my upcoming BWWM Sweet & Steamy Christmas Romance within the next week. My hot cover is ready! So, what's the title of my book you ask? Well, if you want to know the title of my upcoming book, sign up for my Newsletter.
Today, I want to blog about something that's rampant in our society, yet it isn't right spiritually, morally, physically or mentally.
What bothers me is the prevalence of a married man having sex, or an extramarital affair with another married woman.
It's an immoral pandemic!
Have married people completely lost their sense of right and wrong?
Adultery or infidelity means you cheat on your partner with someone else. To be clear, Adultery doesn't necessarily involve having sex.
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The definition of Adultery was restated by Jesus Christ in Matthew 5: 27-28; ...I say unto you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Therefore, a married man who stares at another woman lustfully = Commits Adultery.
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Kissing another woman = Commits Adultery.
Fondling another woman = Commits Adultery.
Having sex with another woman = Commits Adultery.
What is Marriage?
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1. If you don't know, marriage means you enter into a covenant with one woman, to love her and she vows to honour you. That covenant STANDS until one of you dies.
2. Marriage means a man will leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2: 24.
3. Whether you know it or not, Marriage involves you, your partner and God locked in a signed contract where you all resolve to stand firm against every challenge, problem, enemy attack and emerge victorious.
Eccl 4:12 states; Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
4. Marriage means a lifetime commitment to your husband or wife without anyone attempting to separate you.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:9.
5. Marriage means, Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour. Eccl 4: 9.
6. Marriage means Mr Husband, you love your wife and die for her if it comes to it. Ephesians 5: 25.
Did you heart that or do you need me to repeat it?
7. Marriage means giving birth and raising Godly children for God, your Creator. So, you and your partner are partly responsible for raising the the next generation children. Such an honour shouldn't be taken lightly.
In other words, every married man has chosen to only kiss, fondle, have sex and lust after his own wife, period!
This is what the bible says to us: Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13: 4.
If you are not sure, God clearly commands us in Exodus 20:14; You shall not commit adultery.
This is part of the ten commandments (7th commandment) handed over to Moses by God. There is no ambiguity about the 7th commandment.
WHY YOU SHOULD NOT COMMIT ADULTERY:
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. Proverbs 6: 32.
In other words, if you lust after a woman who isn't your wife, you are on a path of self destruction.
When a man takes a vow in front of his family and friends to tie himself to one woman all the days of his life, how is it then okay for him to step out on her by cheating with another woman?
Family members, friends, colleagues, neighbours, open your mouth and say to the adulterer; 'Face your own wife or husband. Stop lusting, stop having sex with another woman or man.'
EXPLAIN THE EFFONTERY:
Let's ask a follow up question:
How is it even conceivable for a married man to have sex or an extramarital affair with a married woman?
How many taboos have they broken?
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Without the fear of God, without regard for the sanctity of marriage and without sparing a thought for their partners and children, a married woman or man decides to strip naked for someone who isn't their legal partner?
Adulterer, are you out of your mind?
Of course, no married man or woman would open their eyes and spit on their wedding vows, except he or she was insane.
One reason a married man would have sex with a married man as opposed to a single woman is because she can never blackmail him without tearing down her entire life.
The bible says a foolish woman tears down her home with her own hands. Proverbs 14: 1b
Cheating married woman are you a foolish woman?
By extension, it isn't a secret that many married women have transferred pregnancies from their extramarital affairs to their husbands. Can you imagine how devastated that child will feel when he or she finds out who the biological father is? Or you think your deadly secret will remain in the dark?
Adulterous men and women stop for one moment to consider the psychological trauma you will put your family through when your immorality comes to light?
REASONS YOU MUST NOT TAKE ADULTERY LIGHTLY:
1. It violates God's commandment.
2. Your jealous and hurt spouse might go to any length to get revenge, including causing harm to you and the person you had an affair with.
Husbands and wives have been known to murder their partners or whomever their partners had an affair with. Now imagine, one parent ends up in jail for murder, and the other parent is dead. What then happens to the innocent children who are left at the mercy of the government or relatives who might mistreat and abuse them or turn them into addicts?
3. Your children are 'damaged' by the fallout of your reckless behaviour.
4. It means you put your needs above that of your family.
5. Nothing is hidden that will not be revealed. Luke 8:17.
6. A broken home is the obvious destination you are heading for. Even if you think you know how it will end when your affair is blown open, you can never foretell how your husband or wife and your children would react. It could be worse than you anticipated and your nightmare will become your reality.
NOTE:
1. Infidelity is a sign of weakness, a sign you lack self control.
2. When you commit adultery, you lose your peace of mind and you feel guilty, worthless.
3. Infidelity means every hour of every day you live in fear of getting found out.
4. Even if you are a professional, Adultery means you throw your dignity and integrity to the mud.
5. It means you willingly tear your family apart. Can anything good come out of your shameful behaviour?
6. Adultery means you have no love, respect or appreciation for yourself, your partner and your family.
7. Adultery means the wedding band on your finger is a joke to you and your vows (words) are worthless.
8. Adultery means you defile your marital bed. That is a TABOO, an abomination before God and man.
I have a question for you. How do you look your partner in the eye everyday and then go on to stab them in the back every time you sneak off to have sex with the other woman or man?
Clearly, your marriage needs HELP. Instead of running off into the arms of another man or woman, work hard to overcome the problems.
Still, all hope isn't lost.
TAKE THESE POSITIVE ACTIONS:
1. Go on your knees and ask God to forgive you. HE will.
2. Turn your back on your extramarital affair. (REPENT).
3. Speak to your husband or wife about working on your marriage because you signed up for a lifetime of working on your marriage together.
Recall your marriage vows.
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4. Open your eyes to see the good in your partner.
5. Pray for yourself, your partner and your marriage. Ask God to wash away your sins with the blood of Jesus Christ.
6. Go for marriage counselling with your partner.
7. Learn to LOVE your husband or wife by forgiving their shortcomings.
7. Most importantly, Don't give up on your marriage because God hasn't given up on you and your marriage.
Marriage = Commitment = Not quitting when the road gets bumpy or when the dark clouds hover around.
USE GOD'S LOVE METER:
There is a LOVE METER that you can use in your marriage.
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I want you to measure your LOVE for your husband or wife with this love gauge from 1 Cor 13:4-5.
1. LOVE is PATIENT.
Are you patient or irritable with your partner? You can learn to be patient. Ask God for help.
2. LOVE is KIND.
Are you rude and unkind? Name one person who wants to live with someone who is rude and unkind? Learn to be gentle, nice and kind. It is easy if you try.
3. LOVE does not ENVY.
Are you envious of your partner's success, popularity, influence, authority, ranking? Your role is to support and cheer your partner on and vice versa.
4. LOVE does not BOAST.
Are you boastful about your achievements and how you have helped your partner to grow or to succeed? Remember, there is nothing you own that God did not give you, so it isn't by your power or might but by God's grace, so stop boasting.
5. LOVE is not PROUD.
Are you proud or arrogant with your partner? Have you not heard, Pride goes before a fall? Learn to be humble and don't think of yourself more highly than you ought to, Mr. Husband or Mrs. Wife.
6. LOVE does not DISHONOUR others.
Do you put down your husband or wife? Do you speak to them in a condescending manner? Do you act superior? Do you cuss and curse your husband or wife? Every time you do that, you dishonour yourself because the two of you are one.
7. LOVE is not SELF-SEEKING.
Do you put your interests, needs, wants above your partner's? Are you selfish and only do things to please yourself? Consider and strive to make the interests and needs of your spouse your number one priority.
8. LOVE is not easily ANGERED.
Are you a hot head? Do you easily lose your cool with your spouse? If you are in love, you will learn to control your temper even if it kills you. Start learning to fall in love with your spouse again.
9. LOVE keeps no record of WRONGS.
Do you have a long list of all the things your partner does wrong every day?
My advice? Tear it up NOW. You don't need it. Instead, focus on the all the good things your partner does and praise them for it.
Question: From the LOVE METER above, what's your score out of 9?
If your score is less than 9/9, get to work.
You still need to go back to the University of Your Marriage. Make it work. Ask God for help.
CONCLUSION:
Be consoled. No married person has ever graduated from the University of Marriage.
To the glory of God, my husband and I have been married for almost 22years and we have not graduated.
It is my prayer that you will retrace your steps from that dark, slippery slope and follow God's path of living according to HIS word in Jesus Christ name, Amen.
For more tips on marriage, click on my YouTube channel: DearStellaTV.
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Before you go, escape to Pleasure Island with my larger-than-life characters in Not a Hookup, my current release and let Eva and Tucker entertain you as they go on the search for their own happy-ever-after.
Download Not a Hookup - A BWWM Curvy Romance.
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A BIT ABOUT STELLA
I’m Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku, Author & Publisher of 37 Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels. I started writing & publishing my books in 2010.
I’ve been married to my sexy hubby for almost 22 years and our home is in London, UK. Just so you know, I love to swim like a star fish. We’ve got two grown-up children.
My sexy adventurous romance stories will make your heart throb. You will also laugh, cry & drool with excitement as my characters tease your senses when they journey through exotic places across America, Canada, Europe and Africa.
If an emotionally intense happy-ever-after is what you want, start reading now. I dare you to read every one of my sizzling stories.
Books by Stella
Check out Flirty& Feisty Contemporary and Interracial Romance Novels include:
Not a Hookup
Not a Fling
Mr. Stranger
Hot Chase
Choose Me
Longing for You
Irresistible Driver
Christmas Desire
Tempted by the Princes – Book 1
Tempted by the Princess – Book 2
Hooked by one Curvy Girl – Book 1
Hooked by one Curvy Girl – Book 2
Naughty Promise
Christmas Seduction
Irresistible Passion
“Shocking Affair”
Guilty of Love
Your Christmas Gift
All of Me
“You’re Mine”
Enticed Forever
Naked Attraction
Indecent
His Ring
Forbidden Dance
Red Velvet Rose
Tempting Desire
Seduced Hearts
Lust
Stolen Kisses (Books 1 & 2)
Wild Whispers
Love at Christmas
Husband to Rent
Stolen Valentine Kiss (Holiday Series #1)
Kiss My Lips (Holiday Series #2)
The Historical & Paranormal Romance novels include:
Royal Cowries (Cowries Series #1)
His Choice (Cowries Series #2)
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Before you go, please take a look at some of my sexy reads you will laugh, cry, get an emotional thrill and drool with suspense.
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If you have read any of my 37 hot romance books, please leave a review because I love reading your comments.
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Thank you for visiting my blog today. Please leave comments, so I know you dropped by.
I wish you an adventurous and romantic weekend ahead.
Love
Stella
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Flirty & Feisty Romance
Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.
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