Welcome to Advice Bench
Over the weekend, I watched an American thriller; ENOUGH with my children. It was so heartfelt I decided to blog about it.
Enough is a movie about a beautiful waitress, called Slim (played by Jennifer Lopez) whose father walked out when she was two, and she got swept off her feet by a rich man who said she was safe with him. Years later in their happy marriage, she found out he had another woman. Her discovery led to a string of physical abuses until she learnt to fight back.
In the movie, Enough, Slim's husband told her she had to make sacrifices because of the lifestyle he provided. He said, 'I make the money around here, so I make the rules. I don't have to sneak around no more. I can just tell you, I'm going over to the other woman'.
My Wish
When I was twenty-five years old (I'm forty-three now) I prayed to God for a special man to be my husband. I told my colleagues and sister that I would never marry a man who was already wealthy.
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| Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku on Valentine's Day |
My decision and conviction was based on three simple reasons.
1. I wanted to marry for love.
And I believe rich men don't have the time or patience to love their wives. They love with their money - buying gifts, flying you on holidays - and not their hearts. In your absence, they fly in their mistress. They have no time to sit, chat and laugh about simple non-money making things with their wives.
Better to marry a man who had little or nothing, so we can grow together, earn together, learn to appreciate simple gifts of life, share laughs, know lack and abundance together.
2. Wealthy men treat their possessions better than they treat their wives.
When the man says jump, the wife asks, how high. No questions asked. Do I look like a dumb woman? I love to ask questions, to argue a bit, to participate in decision making, and to be treated with respect in the way he speaks to me. I don't want to marry a dictator. Wealth switch many men into dictators. And their wives live in FEAR.
3. You have to put up with a lot of hurtful rubbish.
I was a daddy's girl. I got everything I asked for as a young child, although, I made reasonable demands. My dad showed me true love and I admired and still admire the way he loves my mum. He touches and kisses her all the time. My parent's marriage is my definition of love. It was what I desired. My parents have been married for forty-five years. Thank God.
Many years ago, I met a woman through her wealthy husband. She told me she married her husband for money because she did not want to work. After two children, she was full of regret. Her husband's wealth had dwindled even if he did not admit it. At Christmas time, he offered money to his business partners wives to keep up appearances, to his wife and children, he gave nothing. She wondered about her decision to marry for wealth.
Yet, her 'wealthy' husband still made passes at other women.
My Experience
Almost Sixteen years ago, I married my special man. Gorgeous and talented. Most importantly, he's a Christian with a golden heart. The man of my dreams, a man we started out together in a rented flat. We even sat on the floor holding hands. He had no car. I owned a car. I taught him how to drive.
Seven years after we got married, he bought me a Toyota SUV.
Years later, we built a beautiful house together. We are now blessed with two teenage children. Almost eight years ago, we left Nigeria and relocated to London together with our children.
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| Me & My heartthrob |
Till today, we still hold hands, he kisses me all the time, he treats me like a Princess, defends me with everything he has. He says I'm beautiful and the best thing that happened to him. In sickness, he was there for me. He tells me he loves me several times a day. When he was indebted, I was there for him. When he's sad, I encourage him. He tells me to be the best I can be. I love him so much every day. He's my inspiration for writing romance novels. Many of my heroes have a bit of my husband in each of them.
I love my imperfect marriage and I would not change anything about it.
Dreams come true. God gave me my dream husband and for that, I'm eternally grateful.
I pray your marriage is a blessing too even if it isn't perfect. No marriage is perfect. Enjoy.
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Flirty & Feisty Romance wishes you a long lasting relationship.
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Thank you for visiting and reading. Please leave me comments. Love to read your views.
You remain unforgettable.
Have a fabulous day.
Love
Stella
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Flirty & Feisty Romance
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