Flaws in Your Marriage?

Every marriage has flaws or thorns. There's no exception. On the upside, every marriage also enjoys many moments of celebration.

Even in the best of relationships, things go wrong now and again that cause unintended hurt. It doesn't make the hurt less painful. You have a few choices; to

cling to the pain by harbouring resentment, to offer grace and forgiveness or to complain about the wrong doing until you are blue in the face.

You can do the following to handle the flaws.

View the flaws differently

Can you change your wife from being heady to being more accepting just because the bible says, wife submit to your own husbands? It ain't so easy. However, you can decide to see her stubbornness as a positive trait of persistence and tenacity. It takes grace to choose to love your spouse even when you know they're not perfect.

Your flaws are part of who you are

Yes, until your spouse decides to shed their less than appealing traits, they form part of who they are. Instead of getting upset because your spouse is habitually disorganized, you can work with God in helping them become more organized. Pray for them and lovingly help them get better organized. Meanwhile, you can choose to see it as a sign your spouse is creative and flexible - which are positive traits.

Celebrate your spouse

Until you see the change you're praying and hoping for in your partner, understand,

accept, forgive the flaws and celebrate the positive attributes. If he compliments you, helps you with house chores, does school run, cooks a few meals, pays the bills etc. let it not go unsung. Tell him how appreciative you are. He'll do more.

Your partner's flaws can help develop good traits in you

Yes, believe it. After living for five years with your husband who piles his dirty clothes on the dining chair, you learn to be patient, to hold your tongue, to pick up after him when you can or leave them there until he needs them. Your partner's flaws may initially bring out the worst in you but over the years, if you persevere and overlook, you can laugh over it together and celebrate when he changes.

My point is, your partner will change when God changes him. You also have flaws, he has to live with. Acknowledge your intolerance, learn to forgive your partner's excesses even before they do it. That way, you kick out resentment before it steals peace and joy from your marriage.

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For more on this topic, you can get hold of The UCB word for today pamphlet.

I wish you a joyous and fruitful marriage.

Do you have any experience you'll like to share? Always a pleasure to read your views.

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