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Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Why are There Different Rules for Men & Women?

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I AM A WOMAN!!! So what? Why should different rules apply to men and women facing similar situations? Are the expectations entrenched by men alone or men and women?

Someone forwarded this illuminating message to me a few days ago on WhatsApp. And it played on my mind as I thought about the issues raised. So I decided to post it here.

Domestic Abuse:

I get into an argument with a man (husband), he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.

I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality.


Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''It is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down (lose weight), dress better (to seduce him), cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him."
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When I cheat, and I'm called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I'm henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I'm lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast.

Three years later, the little child is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is "after-three", because I am a woman.


He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career and oriented, successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company , they say: "Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband, oh."

And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.
Because I am a woman, I'm not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.

Then I am tagged a generous leg opener (sleeps around), "a runs girl". They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.


A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, they say he did the right thing, he is praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, they scream: "Ahhh! so early? Are you sure she was not sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She is a witch!" Because she is a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.But don't forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!

Share to respect some woman...Passion '88.

Thank God, that these expectations are not from God who created all men and women in his own image. So if  some men think they will get away with treating women like third class citizens, they will get the shock of their lives!!!

So here is a question of my own: Are these expectations for African women only or all women in general?

If you have an opinion or answer, please share it. I'm desperate to find out what you think.


Photos are from

Thank you for stopping by. Please share your comments, so I know you stopped by.

It gives me great pleasure to read your views.

You remain unforgettable,




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