Saturday, 16 October 2010

Would You Lie To Your Partner?

Sometimes, you hear people say they will lie to protect their spouse or family. At other times, some people say lying is acceptable if it means not hurting your partner.

Under what circumstance would lying to your spouse be acceptable? However, before we jump into answering that question, let's start from the basics; would you lie to your spouse at all? I mean, would your first instinct be to lie when asked a question by your partner? For example, you decide to stop over for a few drinks on your way from work with a few of your colleagues. But you hadn't mentioned it to your partner previously because it was a spontaneous outing. So, you run a bit late. You get a call from your partner asking you where you are and who you are with. Would your first reaction be to avoid speaking specifically about where you've been and who you've been with? Or would you naturally give your spouse the graphic details of your outing? Now, if you know your partner wouldn't be happy about your 'little outing', you might be tempted not to state the truth as it is, right? You might want to hesitate or discolour the simple facts. Therefore, you would have to lie or hold back the truth because you've done the exact opposite of what your partner would accept.
My take on that is, you've got to know what your spouse likes and dislikes. Discuss it and let him/her know that even though they dislike your going along to drinks with your colleagues, you enjoy loosening up right after a stressful day. When this simple matter is established and is accepted beforehand, you wouldn't need to lie or gloss over the facts.

If you can't be trusted with little things like, 'where have you been?', 'Why isn't my food ready?' etc. How can you be trusted with bigger issues such as; 'why are you back home so late?'

Personally, I don't think lying, discolouring the truth, paint brushing the lie or distorting the truth is necessary or sustainable at all.

My opinion?
Stick to the truth like magnet to metal and you wouldn't have anything to worry about in the long run. It's hard to keep track of lies. LIES have short legs. Lies aren't acceptable under any circumstance to me. When you lie (no matter how small, or white or black) trust is totally eroded. When TRUST evaporates in a relationship, nothing is left. Not even love. Because your partner becomes paranoid, suspecting you and watching you like a hawk. Eventually, you feel choked and the pressure gets to you. It's unhealthy for a relationship and it just might crack it open! Surely, your lies will eventually find you out because NOTHING is hidden under the sun.

I would really like readers views on this knotty issue
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