Welcome to Advice Bench!
Yes, I am asking you if you will hop into bed with Mr Amazing on your very first date!
If your answer is a resounding YES or an unsure MAYBE, you need to have your head examined!
What is wrong with you? Okay, you may say why not because you've been jilted, suffered a divorce or have many other 'good' reasons. But that's not good enough.
If he asked you on a date, it suggests romance. You expect old fashioned courtship, excitement, spine tingling conversation but no fireworks!
After the wine is exhausted and the food gobbled up, you should expect a peck on the cheek or lips with your heart pounding for the next date to get to know him more!
That romance cycle is broken when you start to run before you crawl by jumping
As far as a man is concerned, the chase is over before it even began! He will celebrate his conquest with a bottle of champagne in the midst of his friends. His mind will wonder what the thrill was with you. Promptly, he moves on in search of a more 'difficult' woman.
You wonder why he dismisses what he didn't have to fight for? Men are natural hunters. If the game is too easy, they capture, have a feast and go in search of a rare catch.
Three reasons not to hop into bed before he pops the question;
1. He thinks you can't be trusted.
He will see you as lacking the willpower to say, No! Simply put, you will say YES to sex with any man who takes you on a date. He isn't special. No man wants to marry a woman who he knows has no willpower to turn men down.
2. He thinks you are an easy win, cheap and readily available.
He reasons that it doesn't take too much to get in between your panties! There's no reason for him to hang around after sex on the first date. He has seen and experienced all you have to offer. He has sampled the goods, and they don't meet his taste.3. He thinks you have no values - moral or religious.
You shake his confidence in women. His mind struggles to conjure up the number of men you have offered yourself to on a platter of wood. He wonders if he will ever find a woman to call his own, a woman who can kick a man in the teeth if need be, a woman with the ability to hold out in the face of temptation.
Wishing you success in your search for Mr. Right.
Thank you for visiting. Please leave your comments so I know you stopped by.
You are deeply appreciated.
Love,
Stella
Flirty & Feisty Romance
Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.
Interesting post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wonder how many people will actually do it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nana. You're right, these are my personal thoughts. Will love to hear other view points. The 'cookies' are so freely given, it is a cause for concern. Glad you stopped over.
ReplyDeleteI agree with not sleeping with a guy after the first date (or any date)! I'm not so sure about the general conclusions though. I mean, the premise is that all men think/are the same and they're not. Some people don't give a crap about the chase, some are not so immature they want to gloat with their friends. I'm religiously opposed to it cuz I don't think you get to pick and choose which parts of faith u want, but generalizations don't give much room for individual differences.
ReplyDeleteZainab, I can't argue with your views. They are so true. My faith also discourages same. You're right, not everyone fits into the same mould. But I can't help drawing out the vast majority jumping in our faces here and there donating the 'cookies' freely.
DeleteSo happy to have you throw your spin on this controversial theme. Thanks for joining in. Really appreciate it.
You know what I think?
ReplyDeleteAs far as there's no commitment, whether you sleep with him on the first date or the billionth one - it's all semantics. I think it's a matter of perception. The fact that she gave it up the first night is not a reflection of who she is - there's a story about a virgin I heard, how it was her husband that popped her cherry but in less than three months every man above 18 in the neighborhood had sampled her goods.
So what was the point?
The fact that a man thinks a woman is cheap because she gave it up easy is not reflection on her - it's actually a show of who he is. But hey - what do I know? I'm an old fashioned guy.
Thank you for putting this up, Stella.
Very delighted you have added male perspective to this post. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMen enjoy the chase. It will be interesting to learn what more he wants from her after 'popping the cherry' on day one! I know nothing is impossible too. Is it wise to let him pop the cherry so easily?
Grateful for your contribution, Seun.