Flirty & Feisty Romance Blog...spice up your relationships: Can Your #Marriage Really Be Over? #Staymarried #Wedding

Friday 16 November 2018

Can Your #Marriage Really Be Over? #Staymarried #Wedding

Welcome to Advice Corner!

Can Your Marriage Really Be Over?

I'm delighted to be back with tips for single and married people.

Can Marriage Be Over?

First, I ask you, why did you get married? If you got married for the wrong reasons, your case is tougher, but not hopeless. Now you are married, do the responsible and honourable thing – work hard to make it the most pleasant and exciting adventure of your life.

Yes, marriage is a HUGE adventure. Did anyone ever tell you that? I bet no one did.

Like everything in life, marriage goes through many stages. But many people only remember to shout about the troubles in marriage more than the sweetness embedded within their strong walls.

If you are thinking about cheating or already cheating on your partner, now is the time to STOP. Instead of urinating on your marriage because your partner did the same or he or she is not giving you attention does not make it RIGHT. Honour your vows. That was what YOU promised.

By God’s grace, in less than three weeks I will celebrate my 19^th Wedding Anniversary with the love of my life. It has been the best years of my life. We have laughed a lot, farted in each other’s faces, argued, gone through financial crises several times, relocated to a different country, moved homes almost ten times, I have been sick for years, raised one adult and one teenage child together, but we have had a whale of a time through the different scenes of our lives.

My husband is my best friend in the world and we have had honeymoon stages very often over the years. I love him to the moon and back and nothing he does will ever change that, by His grace.

I can tell you that having and raising kids is both sweet and bitter. Falling in love is all about experiencing wonderful things and when it goes wrong, it could be like falling down a cliff with no one to catch you at the bottom. Getting educated is tough and stressful, but when you graduate by enduring to the end the feeling of accomplishment is great. Marriage is no different. Marriage is about loving, enduring, hoping and fighting for what you vowed to cherish. Marriage is not about giving up.

I will tell you a few harsh truths.

1. Expect to go on a journey of self-discovery. When you live with someone every day, year after year, you will discover things about your personality, temperament, attitude etc., that you never knew.

2. Expect to be deliriously happy.

Work at it. Pray for it daily. Make it happen. Plan events and make it your aim in life to make your husband or wife happy.

Don’t say, “It can’t work” or “I can’t go on”.

3. Expect to be disappointed now and again.

Don’t lose sleep or ask for a separation. Trust me, the bad times will pass. Just look at the round ring on your fourth finger. It has no break and no end. Keep that thought at the back of your mind. Know that every marriage goes through cycles of sweet times sprinkled with stress, sickness, unhappiness and pain. Life in general has the same cycle, so don’t kill yourself.

4. Expect surprises. Work to surprise your partner.

It could be good or bad surprises. Decide to take the bad surprises in your stride.

5. Be spontaneous. Push for it. Whatever you do, don’t be too predictable. Change your hair styles. Change your night wear. Try sexy negligee. Schedule impromptu lunch or dinner dates. Wear hot clothes and look good. Manicure and polish your nails. Go for the ones that don’t chip easily.

If you are a nursing mum, I tell you, it is tough to be spontaneous. I know. But if you have help from anyone close who can watch your baby or kids so you could spend time alone with your husband or wife, do it.

In my opinion, when married women are pregnant and nursing their babies, it is usually when their husbands develop ‘stray’ eyes. Mainly because the women smell of baby food, breastmilk and don’t even remember to wash their hair or buy new clothes. Their husbands might find other women who look groomed and sexy more exciting and start an affair.

Nursing mum, it’s not your fault. Your husband vowed to cherish you and you are taking care of his baby for Pete’s sake! But it happens. Look, you can move past his cheating. You have to ask him, bring it out in the open and talk about it. It stinks and hurts. But you don’t have to swear at him and end your marriage. This is a challenge and you can overcome it if you try.

6. Be nice most of the time except when you need to be angry, stubborn or silent. Do you know keeping quiet sometimes can be more effective than shooting off your mouth? You can talk about what annoys you when the heat is gone.

7. Expect to argue and quarrel.

But if you swear or use foul language normally, quickly wash your mouth with bleach. Marriage is not the place to cuss like a dirty gangster. Apart from the fact it is terribly disrespectful, you can’t repair the damage afterward. When you quarrel, it is not the end of the world. Boundaries get established. It took me a few years in my marriage to understand this truth. And you learn what your husband or wife hates, so you avoid it if you can.

There is no medal for the meanest person in a marriage. I have been married for almost nineteen years and I have never sworn at my husband.

8. Get help when needed. See a marriage counsellor or a therapist if necessary. It's not a sign of failure, but a wise move to make your adventure more exciting.

9. Expect to listen to your husband or wife nag, complain, snore and all the other annoying habits known to man.

That’s life. Your brothers, sisters, parents and co-workers all have annoying habits you tolerate. So why do you expect your partner to be perfect?

10 Expect time apart due to progress, promotion or other unforeseen circumstances during the lifetime of your marriage. It is not a reason to break-up or separate because of lack of attention and affection. Make it work.

Pull together and see how best to make your marriage endure and survive whatever life throws at it. Both of you must agree to come out on top, smiling and talking about the years gone by.

In summary, marriage is NEVER over. Hope, pray and act.

However, if there is violence in your marriage, that's where I draw the line. Get HELP!

Marriage is a lifetime journey filled with love, laughter, happiness, peace and all things unpleasant too.

I wish you many joyous and loving years together.

Photos are from Bing

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Stella

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