Welcome to Advice Bench!
Everyone has a past. However, some closets are fuller and dirtier than others.
Do you sleep with one eye or ear open? When you took your marital vows, did your heart pound with fear or love for the few tales you conveniently forgot to mention throughout your courtship?
It is not your past that constitutes the biggest hurdle you need to cross, it is your reluctance to be open with the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with, that can deprive you of long term peace of mind.
Fine, you honestly didn't see any reason to relive old wounds during your courtship.
I understand, but will your spouse 'understand' when your secret gushes out in years to come?
Nothing stays hidden forever.
When I met my husband about fourteen years ago, I was ready to reveal the big secrets in my closet because I didn't want my past to come back with vice like grip to hurt my marriage. He made it pretty clear that my past was history and he stressed the fact that our future is all he cares about.
Some spouses have a different view point on this sensitive issue.
1. FIND out what your fiancé or fiancée's preference (to reveal or to stay quiet) is before you walk down the aisle.
2. COMPLY with his or her preference for your peace of mind. If you don't, by the time he finds out, your explanation may fall on deaf ears.
3. IF you've had multiple partners, abortions, kids outside wedlock, relationships with married individuals or any other significant secret, you will do well to spill the deed before your relationship travels to a serious destination.
4. OPENNESS builds trust, giving you a chance to explain how and why it all happened. If he or she walks out of your life afterwards, he or she was never yours.
There is someone who will accept you just the way you are. Yes, even with all your baggage.
Remember, secrets keep you trapped, giving power to others to blackmail or torment you.
Grow courageous and tell the secrets that can shake or destroy your marriage.
* * * * * *
Thank you for stopping by. Please share your comments, so I know you stopped by. It gives me great pleasure to read your views.
You remain unforgettable.
Flirty & Feisty Romance
Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.